Worldfocus
By Tesfaye Negussie
January 22, 2010
It was an elaborate scam: a beautiful bride, a dashing groom, a smiling best man and bridesmaids draped in matching gowns.
The photo was taken to bamboozle American immigration officials. Apparently, the bride was already living in America, and the groom, living in Ethiopia, just wanted to further his education in the U.S. So, he paid her a couple thousand dollars to marry him.
I’ve been told that some Ethiopian men living in America return to Ethiopia for a few weeks just to find a wife and bring her back to the U.S., even though they barely know each other. The man gets a young pretty woman who shares his culture, and the woman gets to come to America.
This is similar to what I used to hear of the young teenage women who lived in rural parts of Ethiopia. They would be married off to wealthy landowners who could afford to pay big dowries to the girl’s parents.
Still others come to America through diversity visa lotteries — a program that gives visas to countries with low rates of immigration to the United States.
The Ethiopian dream is just like the American dream — but with a twist. Ethiopians come to the U.S. to make a living yet often return to Ethiopia to retire.
The dream also casts its fairy dust on Ethiopian pop culture. Ethiopian TV, films and music often depict the experiences of Ethiopian-American immigrants.
Men’s Affairs is a comedic film that follows the antics of a poor Ethiopian carpenter who lies that he lives in America and is just visiting Ethiopia, so that he can get the girl that he desires. For my Father is a drama about a girl who breaks up with her boyfriend to marry a rich man from the U.S.
Ethiopians in America remit about $1.2 billion per year to their families back home. This amount is second only to the total that Ethiopia receives from exports. For the most part, Ethiopians go abroad to make a better life for themselves and give back to their families in Ethiopia, but most dream of returning again.
I grew up in the Washington, D.C. area, which has an estimated 200,000 people of Ethiopian descent — the highest concentration of Ethiopians outside of Ethiopia. As a teenager, I remember learning that Ethiopians owned many of the big nightclubs in the city. As soon as they made enough money, they sold their clubs, and returned to Ethiopia to rejoin their families and invest in their country.
My parents and many of their Ethiopian friends who live in America have lived in the U.S. for about three decades. But they still talk about how they will return to Ethiopia once they retire.
There is a sense of pride that links most Ethiopians to their country. We feel the joy of being with family and a yearning to stay close to our rich history and culture.
We also have a tacit amour-propre, as children of an ancient civilization and the vanquishers of the menacing evil of colonization. Moreover, we are the gatekeepers to an array of ethnicities, languages and religions that have coexisted for centuries.
And even though Ethiopia is now poor, most Ethiopian emigrants dream of the day they will return. Many of them will visit several times before permanently returning — coming back to a country that changes in the blink of an eye.
Ethiopia is the fourth fastest growing economy in the world, according to The Economist. Even though so much has changed, the love is the same, and it feels like they never left.
Many Ethiopian-Americans born in America will stay and raise kids here. We, unlike our parents, have grown with American culture and taken it as our own. But our pride for Ethiopia burns strong. Many of us speak broken Amharic, Oromo, Tigrinya, Gurage — or the language of whatever region our parents are from. We will dress in green, yellow and red patterns. Or wear shirts with pictures of Halie Selassie, as to say, “I am Ethiopian.”
Because the Italians, Jamaicans, Mexicans, Chinese and others who settled in America share a similar journey as the Ethiopians, the Ethiopian-American story is the American story.
So, that is also my story.
Tesfaye Negussie and his grandmother.
My grandmother, who lived with us in America for 10 years, is now back in Ethiopia.
I visited her for several days in Addis Ababa. Since she is very old, it may have been my last time seeing her.
The day I was leaving, I had a terrible stomach ache from something I ate. My grandmother pulled out the one thing she knew would cure me: an old dingy plastic bottle filled with holy water.
It was refreshing as she poured the cool water on my aching belly and head. As she recited prayers under her breath, I remembered those days that I would go to her room to wake her up for breakfast, when she would already be awake thumbing her rosary beads.
And when my sister and I would return from school, she’d hand us huge chunks of ambasha bread that she had prayed over. And we’d have to finish it. Even though our stomachs were full from whatever junk we had picked up at the ice cream truck, we obediently finished every crumb.
Afterward, we would sometimes take Grandma for a walk because she had been inside all day, and this was her only chance to spend some alone time with her grandchildren before Mom and Dad came home.
The water gradually warmed on my skin, and I felt the touch of my grandmother’s fragile hand on my forehead as she prayed. And then my stomach didn’t hurt anymore.
It was good to be home.
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For more Worldfocus coverage of Ethiopia, visit the extended coverage page: Ethiopia Past and Present.
Your story resonated with me and i am sure it will do the same with other Ethio-Americans. Your story is also especially very interesting to me since i have been thinking about this topic more and more. The main reason why our people migrate to the US or other countries is to live a better life, whether that means furthering their education, or getting a better paying job to then live a better quality of life than back home. BUT no matter how many years or decades we stay abroad, we are reminded that our root is from elsewhere, and as you mention, and we often get a sudden and unsatisfiable urge to feel and taste our authentic culture again. The idea of relocating back to Ethiopia is also a notion i have been hearing and seeing more often. I guess, if one can have a comfortable life back at home, then the quest and need for immigration is no longer applicable.
Thanks for sharing
The article resonates with me as well. Ethiopians are part and parcel of the new American History. Ethiopians are new immigrants. Prior to the 1974 revolution, almost all who came abroad were students of privileged background and almost all returned to Ethiopia to serve at some official capacity, a position that was awaiting for them. However, it was in the mid 70s Ethiopians were suddenly forced to flee Ethiopia to save their lives. These were brilliant but politically confused generation. So they left suddenly and hoped to return. But days turned into weeks, then months, then years, and then decades. They were always waiting for the right political climate to return. In the process children were born in America. But what is truly incredible is how fast the first generation Ethiopian Americans are raising in achievement. In my opinion, despite all the political, ethnic, and other issues that divide Ethiopians in the Diaspora, individual parents have done an incredible job of raising these children with respect and admiration for their culture while embracing their new home. I can see their labor bearing fruit just by browsing through the various human stories, interviews with authors, artists, scientist, etc on this website alone, including this article. The result is expressed so beautifully by the journalist Tesfaye Negussie: “Many Ethiopian-Americans born in America will stay and raise kids here. We, unlike our parents, have grown with American culture and taken it as our own. But our pride for Ethiopia burns strong. Many of us speak broken Amharic, Oromo, Tigrinya, Gurage — or the language of whatever region our parents are from. We will dress in green, yellow and red patterns. Or wear shirts with pictures of Halie Selassie, as to say, “I am Ethiopian.”
“Moreover, we are the gatekeepers to an array of ethnicity, languages and religions that have coexisted for centuries.”
I am an african american and when i read this story even i was proud to know that fellow africans still hold on to there culture and want to return home to bring ethiopia back to prominence. As most know african americans were forced to lose there cultural ties to west africa during slavery . But I and other people look up to ethiopia and her people because the are the beaken of hope. The hope that we all can bring africa the respect that she deserves. My brothers and sisters from abyssina we will always been on your side and i hope and pray that ethiopia will flourish again. I plan on visiting because my queen is from addis. God Bless
Thanks for sharing your story… as someone said it once, “Here physically, always back home in spirit”, so true for most of us!
The key is to focus on how we can all work together with ourselves and others for a better common future for us and for our children, for Ethiopians abroad and at home!!!
Excellent writer , “are you talking about me ?” , when I preyed to god ten years ago to come to America , I also begged him for my return , I think the day is close . America is really a land of freedom , I love being living here in US but I have a plan to rise my kids back home.
Interesting..just came back from a short vacation in addis ..met with a lot of my diaspora friends who recently made the moove ..proffessionals who are driven to contribute to the developmental efforts..others just interested in investment opportunities..All in all my observation was that they were happy. Most of them told me that ethiopia has to continue convincing them that their move was not in vain but generally seemed satisfied..I was away for 21 years and had no desire of mooving back until i went there few weeks ago and realised eventhou i love my life here in the U.S, Id love to try out Addis…. what makes it stand out is being amongst loving parents..family, friends…nothing beats that..even the comfort and the convenience we have here in the U.S. I want my son to experience that warm loving environment..i enjoyed your article..thanks..i can relate..
When I saw the title of your article, I was motivated to read more. Upon completion of the article, I found myself in absolute agreement. I think that no matter how much I accomplish here, either educationally or professionally, I find that my thoughts are often on back home. My father immigrated to the US in 1982, and even though I was born and raised in the US, I still myself identifying my Ethiopian/Eritrean background. Often times, I do think how it would be if I returned home. But, I do think that once I achieved all or most of what I want to achieve in the US and the right conditions back home materialize, I would want to move back and help my home country develop.
The article definitely “hit the nail on the head”.
Why do so many Ethipians own DC nghtclubs? Is this something they did back home, run entertainment businesses?
(Answer to previous comment, they have nightclubs, not a lot.)—A very well written article, as a 16 year old IB student from Seattle, I must say that i’m quite isolated from the influence of Ethiopian culture. There are many Somalians and very few Ethiopians, I still love Seattle, but I might never follow up on my Ethiopian culture. I plan to help the country, maybe in the future, when I become moderately successful. The good thing is, my parents thought me how to speak Amharic fluently, at least that might help me, when I visit after I graduate from college. (Probably in 13 years)
i read and unnderstand all the article,and i absoltily agree,and i decide to go home ,there are oportunity to do something there so lets go!
Hi,
Being an Indian living in the Western world, I can identify your story as well. And I m sure many more Indians would agree with me. We move to countries like US and Canada in search of greener pastures or to be with our spouse, have children and raise them, and once we go past middle age, get that irresistible feeling of going back to our homeland… after all, that is where we grew up, and that is what comes back to lovingly haunt us once we are past our purple days of life.
I loved your simple narrative. Wish you all goodness in life. God bless!
Really am touched by this beautiful story! I am 22 yrs old Ethiopian who lives in Houston, Texas & like many Ethio-Americans I have a dream to go back to my homeland!I hope mother Ethio will regain her glory very soon like during Axumite Kingdom!The time we lead this world economically & politically will come very soon!Let’s forget the difference between us & march forward by having unity in our diversity!God bless Ethio!